Tatler's Little Black Book 2008

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Ade 30s
The roly-poly king of social London, actor Ade (no, he doesn’t use a surname) is an absolute legend. He rocks with the Goldsmith gang, is a fixture at London Fashion Week shows and was Tom Parker Bowles’s usher. He is an invincible party person too. Everyone loves him and he’s a charming ladies’ man.

Will Aitken 20s
Clean-living Ibiza obsessive ‘Smelly’ – he’s got one of the coolest houses on the island – hangs with the Reuben brothers and has great political aspirations. Well, one could say it’s in the blood. Can sometimes be spotted at Boujis, clearing the dancefloor.

Camilla Al Fayed 20s
This sexy, bodacious brunette may initially come across as a tad high-maintenance (well, if you’ve got Harrods as your private playpen, what do you expect?) but she’s really a softie at heart. Get yourself asked round for a takeaway at her Park Lane pad. It might be followed by a chopper flight over London, courtesy of Harrods Aviation.

Prince Khalid Al Qasimi 20s
Scion of the royal family of the emirate of Sharjah, Khalid’s got his own fashion label, Qasimi. Cool and cultured, he’ll take you to late nights at the Tate Modern or to see a foreign film at the Curzon Mayfair. An all-round nice chap.

Viscount Alexander teens
Stoic son of the Earl of Caledon, Freddie’s one hot jock. Often found being chased around the Isle of Wight (he’s a bit of a yachtie) or downing pints in the Pig’s Ear. Very fit.

The Earl of Arundel 20s
Motor-racing Henry (he inherited the bug from his dad, the
Duke of Norfolk) is currently hitting the books at Bristol. Weekends are spent zooming round racetracks in Wales practising for his next Formula 3 season. Utterly charming and refreshingly modest.

Goga Ashkenazi 20s
Former Oxford pin-up turned Prince Andrew’s walker. Hangs with powerful men – and why shouldn’t she? A great tycooness with a hot bod, an amazing wardrobe and very big jewels. She’ll entertain you with Chopin nocturnes on the massive Steinway in her Holland Park mansion, where her office is painted purple from floor to ceiling.

Tansy Aspinall teens
Wannabe rock ’n’ roller – there’s a strong possibility that she’s about to re-form her school band, We Run In Techno-Colour. After being born, she was swiftly placed into the arms of a gorilla at her father Damian’s zoo. Currently on the hunt for a good hairdresser.

The Hon Jake Astor 20s
There’s something super-hot about ‘Jake the Snake’, whose well-cut suits (he does wear alarmingly tight trousers, though) are still wowing our American cousins at Wharton business school. Has recently given up smoking but, even so, hardly ever eats. Dates only royalty.

Hayley Atwell 20s
Primrose Hill-living babe, best known for Brideshead Revisited, with amazing skin and a dachshund called Thandi. Loves knitting and ‘skanking’ and has been a vegetarian for the past 10 years. Our Lady Julia Flyte for the 21st century.

Charlie Baker teens
Between Eton and Trinity College, Dublin, Charlie drove 8,000 miles across the USA and conquered New York City. Prefers intelligent girls who are older than him. Has the sharpest tongue in Lincolnshire, where he lives with a Beanie Baby called Congo to whom he is unnaturally close. Smokes quite a lot.

Alastair Balfour 20s
Hardworking banker at UBS who does Eurotrash and throws amaaaazing weekends at the family’s villa in Biarritz. Lives in a pimped-out bungalow in Ladbroke Grove with his sister Lily. Get him to pin you down in his private screening room.

Lily Balfour 20s
Quite simply the most fun girl in London. Does uptown reluctantly – she’ll be much more impressed if you take her east to some gritty gig. Gives marvellous house parties at the family cottage near Woodstock. Extreme stamina is needed to keep up with her. Oh, and be very, very nice to Pig, her French bulldog, who’s always in the passenger seat of her Mini. He’s the real key to her heart.

Amelia Bamberger teens
Exceptionally witty blonde bombshell and self-professed queen of the teen Plastics – no one messes with La Bamberger. Oxford Brookes’s fittest fresher. Just don’t mention the two dwarfs who, to the bemusement of all, gatecrashed her Barbie and Ken 18th-birthday bash. At least the pair of offenders were appropriately dressed.

Ben Barnes 20s
Everyone fancies Prince Caspian until they find out he used to be a choirboy at KCS, Wimbledon. Likes a fairytale. Next stop’s an interesting one –Dorian Gray. Stroke those luscious locks and get yourself ready for a voyage on his Dawn Treader.

The Hon Wenty Beaumont 20s
The growl, the growl – girls go weak for the growl. Utterly divine Christie’s kid who enjoys nothing more than playing Pass the Pig during weekends at the family estate in Northumberland or in St Tropez. Likes milking too.

Anouska Beckwith 20s
Naughty but nice ‘Nush-Nush’ is one cool cucumber. People will talk about her Marie Antoinette-themed 21st for years to come. Wow her with your knowledge of Elvis Presley and with any luck she’ll take you along to a gig by one of the ridiculously cool LA bands she rolls with. Tarot card-reader extraordinaire.

James Blunt 30s
Whether he’s in Norfolk (he grew up in a windmill there) or chillaxing in Hollywood, this one loves a posh girl. Get down and dirty with him in Raffles, where you’ll have to fight through the Sloanes surrounding his table. He’s also quite the racing tipster.

Cressida Bonas teens
Butter wouldn’t melt in this Old Stoic’s mouth. After a summer in Thailand, she rocked round town with her [sort-of-stepsister Bumpy Calthorpe – it’s blonde Nirvana. Either that or she’s hitting the books at Leeds. Really pretty, really nice and absolutely obsessed with Eva Cassidy.

Clare Bonsor 20s
Fashionista blonde who recently spent a night in a Notting Hill police cell and is furious at losing her driving licence. Hardly a criminal mastermind, though – she was on the way to Raffles and refuses ever to return. Comes as part of a blonde threesome with her two burly brothers.

Francis Boulle teens
Son of diamond and mining tycoon Max Boulle, this Edinburgh artist and philosophy student is a helluva ladies’ man, as Emma Watson discovered at Cartier Polo. He’s a bit of a legend, actually: he was expelled from school when the authorities found out that boys were paying him to hack into the computer system and change their fortnightly reports. Oh, and for ordering 7,000 crickets, locusts and beetles from a live-bait website and releasing them in the front hall of his house.

The Marquess of Bristol 20s
‘Right Said Fred’ is a Renaissance man with a secret passion for psychology who has a signet ring for every day of the week. Get him drunk and he’ll model his ermine robes around his Earls Court flat for you. Reading a book about Albania at the mo.

Flee Brudenell-Bruce 20s
Florence is a machine. Well, a party one. And one of the hottest girls in town. Not embarrassed to party with her dad, Andrew. Has been known to wipe out off the odd podium, though.

Olivia Buchanan-Jardine 20s
Scots-Hong Kong princess currently to be found in Dallas, Texas. Ever-so-slightly mad, with the poshest voice. Into interior design and dogs. Get yourself an invite to the rolling family acres north of Cannes. The ultimate topless sunbather chick.

Lord Buckhurst 20s
A hardworking and gracious charmer. Russian babes seem to dig ‘Bucky’, who is one of our great fund managers. The cricket weekend he shares with his brother Ali Hope has become a real highlight of the summer. Top-secret information: his middle name is Herbrand.

The Hon Philippa Cadogan teens
Chelsea’s finest (well, her grandfather Earl Cadogan owns most of the borough). Holidays in Crete and Kitzbühel and will wow Paris at this year’s Crillon Ball. The most stylish girl at Heathfield, where she’s besties with fellow junior jet-setter Isabella Rogge. When it comes to blokes, only fit polo players need apply.

May Calil 20s
Her mum, Hayat Palumbo, has trained this one well; she’s one of the fun-est girls in Notting Hill and can juggle her homemade falafels (secret family recipe) with one hand. A defender of the oppressed who isn’t ashamed to eat quail’s eggs dusted with gold leaf. Great charity bicycle rider and mountain climber.

Jamie Campbell Bower 20s
Fit actor-slash-modelslash- musician who with one swift move went from Bedales to star alongside Johnny Depp in Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Seek him out at the St Moritz Club in Soho fronting his band The Darling Buds. So hot right now.

Zach Carter 20s
Dishy Aussie designer behind new brand Core Spirit and a recent arrival on these shores. When he’s not nipping back to hometown Sydney, it’s Shoreditch House and fish at Scott’s for Zach. Normally goes for dangerous and sexy girls – and damn well gets them too.

Georgia Castleman 20s
Finally managing to hold down a steady job in between copiousnumbers of dates at the Wine Gallery on Hollywood Road. ‘G to the C’ is staggeringly sexy. Very blonde.

Lady Laura Cathcart 20s
Norfolk lass who gives good barn party and has an aversion to fish and mushrooms. Loves old-fashioned clothes, so don’t be surprised if she pitches up in a prom-style dress. Woo her with wild flowers. Into interior design, soft furnishings and older men.

Dixie Chassay 30s
Sexy-voiced Notting Hill trendy who hangs with thesps and Martha Ward. Often falls asleep in strange places, from bars to the beach.

Maddie Chesterton 20s
Former barmaid at Azteca who can still be found downing the odd cocktail there but has moved on to pastures new at the BBC. Drives a Mini, owns a dachshund and goes partying with her parents. Chessex girl.

Anthony Chin teens
Quite possibly the coolest person on the King’s Road, this chicken-loving budding rap star is nicknamed ‘Sideshow Bob’ (he has a massive Afro like The Simpsons character). Word from his calculus beak at Eton is that he’s a secret maths genius. Just don’t let on you know. Genius dancer too.

Alexa Chung 20s
TV presenter who seems to spend most of her time at festivals or in the studio – when she’s not in Bungalow 8 with the Arctic Monkeys, that is. In fact, she’s so busy she hardly has time to eat. She’ll restyle you.

Francesco Ciardi 20s
Goldman Sachs man, Euro-charmer par excellence and an all-round hit with the fairer sex. A female murmur used to go up around the library at Oxford whenever he walked in.

Stephanie & Isabelle Coaten 20s
Blonder-than-blonde double-trouble sister combo. Steph likes to ‘borrow’ things off royals and hangs in Hawaii; Iso is a whizz with the make-up brush and goes for Scots toffs. Boys form a queue outside the flat they share on Elm Park Gardens

Jonny Cohen teens
Cute Westminster kid into Bob Marley and Red Hot Chili Peppers. Get your kit off and ask for a swim in the giant-sized Norman Foster-designed pool that venture-capitalist dad Ronald is building in their Notting Hill house at the moment.

Philip Colbert 20s
Rodnik boy with a soothing Irish lilt who is quietly conquering the fashion world from his Smithfield lair. Dab hand with a needle too.

Johnnie Collins 20s
Serial snogger Johnnie is cutting his teeth in the financial world. There’s something of the night about him but he’s got good cheekbones. Not ashamed of his new tattoo, even though it’s the word ‘Glen’ (his best friend).

Chelsy Davy 20s
Queen of the Clarence House afterparty, this Leeds undergrad loves raving and shopping with her mum on the King’s Road. Into gingers. Don’t take her picture – the paparazzi make her cry.

Alice Deen 20s
Jobless, festival-going Al is a fixture on the Westbourne circuit after a brief sojourn in Fulham. Take her on a date to Raffles, though she’s more at home in Manumission. Slightly competitive. Dive into her beautiful eyes.

Poppy & Cara Delevingne 20s & teens
After having about 18 leaving parties in London, Bamford & Sons babe Poppy is storming New York with flatmate Mary Charteris. Cara knocked Joan Collins’s wig off at Club 55 and is a supermodel in the making.

Alice Dellal 20s
Model of the moment who splits her time between Rio de Janeiro and squats in south London. Only wears ripped clothes. Very cool and invariably found on the arm of Laura Fraser. A style icon, so on trend it hurts. And you know what? Utterly charming, too.

Robert Denning 20s
American export whose fridge in his flat off Gloucester Road contains only orange juice and chardonnay. Oh, and ketchup. A leading Royal Borough sidekick (of Sophia Hesketh, Ella Windsor and Marina Hanbury) who likes to think he looks like Raoul Fraser. Very generous.

Richard Dinan 20s
Floppy-haired blond Richard is the blue-blooded and silver-tongued founder of student magazine Ammunition. He possesses razor-sharp cheekbones and a massive collection of guns. Keeps it real too and there is a definite whiff of Zoolander about him. Which is no bad thing.

Eliot Dodd 20s
One quarter of The Egos, the coolest band in town. Long-haired Elliot always has great outfits but is occasionally prone to sleepwalking. When he’s not attending SOAS lectures you’ll probably find him strolling around Hampstead Heath. Not in that way, though – it’s where he lives.

Jamie Dornan 20s
Party-tastic dude boasting a chiselled jaw. They say looks can kill and a fight recently broke out over him in Boujis (that’s Crack Babies for you). Knees tend to weaken at his Northern Irish twang. Vibe out listening to his two-piece folk band Sons of Jim.

Lady Mary Douglas-Home 20s
Unquestionably the hippest member of the Scottish aristocracy. Goes for gritty band kids. Has recently ditched her own band to concentrate on studying for her degree but is still a whizz on the tambourine.

Lord Downpatrick teens
Despite five years in Eton’s Animal House, skydiving, curly-haired Eddy kept up the name of the House of Windsor (his grandpapa is the Duke of Kent) by refusing to urinate in people’s bins (a popular activity in his house – Godolphin, that is, not Windsor). Oxford beckoned after he’d spent the summer in New Zealand. Mischievous.

The Hon Jamie Dundas 20s
Viscount Melville’s second son is a polo-mad Oxford theologian who lives for the hangover – this summer he managed to get his hair and eyebrows shaved off the night before starting work for an MP. Takes his clothes off at any given opportunity. Clever, though.

Lord Dunglass 20s
Beefy Scotsman Michael is so popular at Edinburgh that he seems to be roped in to every charity committee under the sun. Perhaps it’s also because he lives with three hot girls. Particularly dashing in black tie or plus-fours.

Tamsin Egerton teens
Child actress turned leggy, sexy St Trinian’s star who’s never had an injection in her life. Addicted to tea, which she used to smuggle into boarding school. Mess with her, mess with her mum.

George Elek teens
InterRailing Etonian with a good swing (golf swing, naturally). His obsession with Oxford United could make you a football widow. Take him to dancing classes (he needs practice) and on to fave Devon hangout Fusion.

Tracey Emin 40s
Art’s enfant terrible now prefers a pot of camomile tea to a pint. Loves breakfast in bed (she even has a cat-shaped crumb collector) and is a great dancer. She’s long had an interest in the social behaviour of meerkats.

Viscount Erleigh 20s
Julz, aka the Vulgar Viscount, has returned to the Bristol Uni scene but not before breaking the heart of every blonde in the Royal Borough. You’ll know you’ve made it when you get an invite to the ‘Den of Yeast’ – the garage in his back garden in Cirencester which acts as his hangout after parties.

Tara & Merlin Ferry teens
Bry with a Y’s third son, Tara, rocks out with his band Rubber Kiss Goodbye and is doing a foundation at Chelsea College of Art. Merlin’s still at Marlborough. Both nick from Dad’s wardrobe; both are hits with the ladies. They’ve learnt from the best, haven’t they?

Alex Finlay 20s
Drives around town in her leopardprint Smart car, known as ‘Barry Bongo’. If she wasn’t the mastermind behind Fin’s Shoes, she would be the sixth member of Girls Aloud. Take her out for karaoke. Only heirs need apply.

John Finlay 20s
The style icon of Redcliffe Square. Get J-Fin to ask you over for dinner, which is invariably followed by hours on his karaoke game, SingStar – he has a surprisingly good voice. But he’ll spend hours wiping the dining-room table around you.

Hum & Chloe Fleming teens
The party twins are out of Tudor Hall and ready to play – but not before they embark on a gap year. No backpacking for these two – they’re kicking off in St Moritz and will be flying by PJ only. Too cool for school.

Nina Flohr 20s
Red-lipsticked jet-set babe who has her own flat in St Moritz. Get invited to the phat afterparties she throws on dad’s boat in St Tropez and Ibiza. The sucking up has already started before her 25th-birthday party. Give her a good rubdown – she was hobbling around Dracula’s nightclub, St Moritz, this year after breaking her leg skiing.

Johnny Flynn 20s
South London-bred ex-Bedales kid now heading up his nu-folk band Johnny Flynn and the Sussex Wit. It’s multitalent time – as well as scaling Mount Snowdon and taking the lead in a Dutch film, he’s also toured with a Shakespeare rep. Bloody fit.

Lydia & Irene Forte 20s & teens
Always surrounded by hot men, the Forte sistas are amazing dancers who clear the floor at Drac’s nightclub. Lydia spends her summers in Ibiza and Boujis and is still the hottest kid at Oxford. Irene’s recently left Charterhouse.

Maria Frering teens
This leggy Brazilian babe spends her holidays in the mother country but during term has all the dads at Francis Holland drooling at the school gates. They’ll have to get past her two beefy brothers first, though. Get in with her best friend and Notting Hill next door neighbour Jonny Cohen.

Alex Gazzi 20s
Besides being an aspiring actor, Alex is also a well-dressed metrosexual, Davina Harbord’s flatmate and an entrepreneur. Often frequents best friend Julz Erleigh’s ‘Den of Yeast’. Can go for days without sleep.

Pixie Geldof teens
Baby of the London social scene – and quite possibly the coolest person on it – she seems to have a different hairdo every night she goes out. Teen style icon.

Will Gordon Martin 20s
The king of the Cuckoo Club is adored by foreign girls – but if they knew about his midweek trips to Wales to look after his nan, they’d surely love him even more. A total charmer who likes a cuddle.

Charlie, James & Nick Green 20s, 20s & teens
Chaz is a banker, Jim’s disappeared to South Africa (tragically for us) and Nick is Oxford’s fittest undergrad. All in all, one hot threesome. But you must get in with sister Annie first.

Mat Greer teens
Chelsea College of Art and skinny indie kid Mat is one quarter of the band Fucking Vegas, who practise at his parents’ house in Notting Hill. He’s an utter legend.

Lorcan Guinness teens
Beefy ’n’ brawny Marlborough lad who’s equally at home at his house in Donegal or at Shoreditch raves.

Ollie Hadden-Paton 20s
Old Harrovian and stuffed-crust-pizza lover who, after a year as Madonna’s runner, is back at Bristol, where he does the door at clubs. That’ll be a fiver, mate.

Rebecca Hall 20s
British actress par excellence with ivory skin and dark hair. A bit of a Victorian beauty. Popular, self-assured and confident. Into vintage and thrift stores. Heading to New York next year to work with Sam Mendes on Broadway, so catch her while you can.

Astrid & Davina Harbord 20s
The Hardcore Sisters give great houseparty at Prospect House, Dorset. Bagatelle is played, often followed by a tapdancing show from their dad. Astrid’s the coolest blonde to leave Bristol since Jemima Khan and likes younger men. Davina’s been on eight holidays this year – always to Ibiza. The two often fight on the Fulham Road over the use of their shared Audi.

Jay Hawley teens
Collingham reprobate Jay has ditched his skinny jeans and found a whole new calling with electro. Fancies himself as a bit of a rapper. Gashed his hand recently while he was climbing up at lamppost to have a fag in the park during his lunchbreak. Still well fit, though.

Violet Henderson 20s
Brainy Oxford grad with long legs and luscious lips who’s not averse to a bit of private-plane action. Seriously funny, takes no prisoners – it’s a constant source of frustration that there’s nothing on Google about her. Crazy dancing time.

Anna & Violet Hesketh teens
Anna’s into the Velvet Underground, Violet loves the Pogues. When not bouncing around Bryanston, the twins have inherited the Porchester Terrace mantle off big sis Mary Charteris. Budding jockeys who ski in Zürs.

The Hons Flora & Sophia Hesketh 20s
Famous for all-day/ all-night garden parties at Tregunter Road, elder sis Flora is back from the States, hotter, bouncier and blonder than ever. And she makes a damn good vodka cocktail. ‘Sophles’ can currently be found ruling the roost at Japanese Vogue in New York, where she gave the coolest Hallowe’en party of the year, much to the annoyance of the Yanks.

The Hon Freddie Hesketh 20s
UCL kid ‘Heskey Dog’ forms an unholy trinity with Nick Palmer and Archie Soames. But hey, don’t let that put you off. He’s unbelievably witty and sexy and quite simply one of the most fun blokes in town.

Lord Alexander Hope 30s
Hope is one of the grand hosts of his generation and seems to be wining and dining a different bird every night. Where does the Christie’s honcho find the time?

James Houssemayne Du Boulay 30s
It’s time someone pinned Jimmy Du B, one of the Royal Borough’s great bachelors. And we know of a few Fulham brunettes who’ve been trying their hand. Hordes, in fact. He’ll whisk you off on holiday or to the grouse moor before you know it. A man with hypnotic eyes and good ankles.

Henry Hudson 20s
There’s a whiff of the rock star about the inimitable Mr Hudson, one of the few people with enough pull to get the Chelsea set across to Shoreditch – they made their way east in droves for his sell-out show at Beach Blanket Babylon.

Rupert Humphries 20s
Oscar’s little bro has finally returned from Edinburgh, where he stayed on to work for videogame company Rockstar Games. He’s still a preppy skaterboi and still writing über-wicked games but, fortunately for us, is firmly back in Flood Street. Aussie royalty with fabulous hair.

Chris Hunter 20s
Pads around town quietly, like a panther. Doesn’t live with his mum any more so he can finally invite girls over. Sweet.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley 20s
Brit model of the moment who’s currently fronting the Burberry campaign. When bored, she talks to a sock puppet named Evan.

Ben Hypolite 20s
A ridiculously sexy and well-dressed advertising man, ‘Ben Ben’ is an unswervingly loyal friend and, along with partner-in-crime Jake Morant, Arsenal’s No. 1 fan. His ambition is to be in a Skechers ad campaign. Has ultra-strong arms.

Tom Inskip 20s
Crazy dancer and Gloucestershire’s finest who’s breaking hearts in New York for the time being. He was recently caught with a sheep in the garden at Highgrove. Ever-so-slightly mad but has lovely thighs.

Max Irons 20s
Jeremy’s son is a model and actor who hangs tough at the Cuckoo Club. He’s still recovering from his first day on the set of Dorian Gray, where he had to snog the title character – played in this version of Wilde’s story by Ben Barnes. Into free-diving.

Assisi Jackson teens
Jade Jagger’s daughter and teen leader of Ibiza who is already upstaging her mother in low-cut dresses and six-inch heels. And all at the tender age of 15.

James Jagger 20s
Guitar-wielding actor and model Jimmy is the lesser-spotted Jagger. Catch him cotching at home with flatmate Alice Dellal. So hip it hurts.

Willa Keswick 20s
‘The Willmeister’ is the ridiculously cool and sexy queen of the Queensgate Crew who, from the Union Jack chair in her sitting room, commands unswerving loyalty from her friends. She’s simply amazing and has the best boobs in the borough.

Jemima Khan 30s
That amazing hair is full of secrets. The Royal Mail goes into meltdown six mornings a week with the weight of all that fan mail arriving at her Chelsea townhouse. Travels in a pack with her girlfriends, who hang on her every word.

Jodie Kidd 30s
Disco divorcee and saucy, horsey model who apparently is terrified of online banking. Get those insanely long legs to dance for you – they were hilariously hitting the ceiling during practice for Strictly Come Dancing.

Sam Kilcoyne teens
Teen genius Sam is the brains behind Underage Festival, the summer highlight of public-school music lovers. And all thanks to being turned away from a Buzzcocks gig two years ago aged 14. Punk-goth indie kid who plays keyboards in his band S.C.U.M.

Amber Le Bon teens
Leather-jacketed, low-key, sweet King’s Road kid who’s not ashamed to show her face in the Trafalgar and Mamilanji. She’s taking a year out to do a spot of modelling (having inherited her mum Yasmin’s looks and legs) and is an ardent fan of Serbian artist Velickovic.

Lord Le Poer 20s
Old Harrovian Richard’s the divinely handsome four-goal polo player (he’s captain of the Young England team) who has managed to break his collarbone three times this year (luckily Tats Mountbatten was on hand to nurse him back to health). Not only that, he’s a tennis star too. In fact, he’s good at everything. Beefy and eats a lot.

Evgeny Lebedev 20s
Oligarch extraordinaire and co-host of one of the great parties of the year, the Gorbachev gala at Hampton Court Palace. Marvel at his charming ways and on-trend suits from his tailor, Wintle. A serious thinker.

Emily Lobel 20s
Absurdly cool and edgy fashionista who looks like she ought to live in Shoreditch but is in fact secretly posh and more than happy in SW7. Got fed up with Agyness Deyn stealing her haircut so recently went rebel with black hair extensions. Rolls with Willa Keswick and the Queensgate Crew.

The Hons Emily & Louisa Lopes 20s & teens
Devon’s finest work in family shop Austique on the King’s Road. Much to her friends’ annoyance, ‘Lopsy’ is constantly losing her phone. Meanwhile down in Bristol, Louisa is breaking hearts. Grab an invite to the family pad in Tobago.

Katherine Lowson 20s
Picture-pefect ‘K-Low’ is the trendiest girl in the Highlands, where she rules her men with a firm but fair fist. Will only eat Thai food and it’s more than likely she’ll bring her King Charles, Freuchie, on a date too. Blonde, fun and sexy.

Pev Manners 40s
A brilliant brain and a fruity sense of humour make the producer of Belvoir Cordial great company – he’s as fizzy as his elderflower pressé. Leicestershire farmer who, when not gracing the London scene, titillates most tastes. Tease him about his bouffant hair.

The Earl of Medina teens
After leaving Millfield, Harry is now beinghome-schooled at family pad Great Trippetts Farm. A polo ace who’s extremely successful with the ladies. Haunts art galleries at weekends.

James Middleton 20s
Catherine’s little bro and embryonic business
tycoon is storming the baking world with his Cake Kit Company. His ambition in life? ‘To make baking a cake hassle-free as well as idiot-proof.’ Not ashamed to wear a pinny and hairnet.

Pippa Middleton 20s
Catherine’s li’l sis, this perma-tanned Chelsea girl confines herself to über-beefy toff types. Low-maintenance; you’ll find her working out at the council gym on Chelsea Manor Street. Goes to a lot of parties, but main mainly as the caterer.

Mika 20s
Take the Michael (Penniman) with the prince of pop and Gloucester Road’s finest. Has the biggest wardrobe in the Royal Borough and is very proud of his new bathroom. Nest in his Egyptian cotton sheets after a couple of pints in the Hereford Arms.

Jake Morant 20s
Model-cum-gallerist who digs blondes. An astonishing cook, he’ll whip you up some pork ribs – girls beat a path down Queensgate for his legendary Sunday roast. Pulls off drag remarkably well – he loves donning wigs.

Xan Morgan 20s
Utterly charming, floppy-haired Xan has ditched the odd dress sense to wear a suit every day. He’s drawing up plans to refound Chelsea’s groovy Sixties fashion boutique Granny Takes a Trip. Legend at football.

Lady Tatiana Mountbatten teens
Having just left Millfield, all-singing, all-dancing, heli-flying, riding, seriously hot ‘Tats’ is now sending ’em wild back in the capital – when not racking up every prize at dressage – before heading off to Verbier for her ski season. Always seems to have another cute boy chasing after her. But you’ll have to get past her mum Sarah first.

Astrid Muñoz 30s
Puerto Rican babe who has swapped modelling for life behind the camera as a photographer. Benicio Del Toro may have pursued her around the Gorbachev ball but she seems to like ’em young (naming no names – Alex Pettyfer). It’s kitchen sups time with her best friends Giambattista Valli and Natalia Vodianova.

Hugo Munsey teens
Junior daddy of the Notting Hill scene (when he escapes from Eton, that is). Serial tanner ‘Huge’ is well into sunbathing in the Hamptons or the South of France. Worships Noel Fielding and Boris Johnson.

Arabella Musgrave 20s
Beautiful English rose who has the proud accolade of being thrown out of Raffles twice this year in addition to going on a roadtrip with Scarlett Johansson around California. This Prada PR is back on the market after five years, so get in there pronto. Her signature dish: pumpkin pasta.

Geordie Naylor-Leyland teens
Pepperoni-pizza fan who has thrown in his butlering job at the Lanesborough to tread the boards at RADA. Wildly funny, very popular with the lads – well, he is sharing a flat with the Hanbury sisters – and a skilled pianist. Get an invite to clan pile Milton. With luck he’ll impress you by hitting the high notes when he sings with the family band.

Jessica Naylor-Leyland 20s
Geordie’s East End aunt is just back from torturing – sorry, teaching – children in Vietnam. Seek her out in the Cuckoo Club where you’ll find her downing tequila shots and chilling with male models. Likes a game of spin the bottle.

Violet Naylor-Leyland 20s
Fashionista who’s hard to pin down. One minute she seems to be at the shows in Paris, the next she’s dancing in the rain in the middle of the Earls Court Road. Weird! Her hair has more or less taken on a personality of its own. Nice voice.

Annabelle Neilson 30s
Kate Moss’s wing woman has a penchant for fur and is sure partial to an afterparty. Immaculately dressed, whatever the hour. As at home at a country pile as she is in Pete Doherty’s flat. A damn good shot, too.

Nick Palmer 20s
‘Nick Nock’ attended just one lecture in his two years at Bristol. He likes older ladies (naming no names – Astrid Harbord and Amanda Sheppard) and is always last to go to bed. You’ll need to get past the Fleming twins to get to him.

Jessica Palmer-Tomkinson 20s
Gorgeous Jess is Tara’s low-key cousin and one cool cookie who these days can be seen dealing with the commute to work in Deptford – from the family pad off Chester Square. Funny and fit. Men go weak at the knees in her presence.

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson 30s
TV presenter par excellence who is most likely to be found sunbathing on the fab roof terrace of her SW5 flat with Bessie mate Duncan from Blue. Amazing sense of humour, sexy and self-deprecating.

The Hons Petra & Lana Palumbo teens
The Palumbo girls are the hottest new kids on the block. Petra’s the blonde, ballsy one into drum ’n’ bass who’s doing history of art at Bristol. Lana’s quirky, at Collingham and incredibly nice. Both are utterly beautiful. A catfight breaks out when mum gets home with a new bag but big sis May Calil normally wins.

Sophie Patnicroft
Gray teens Peroxide blonde who was famous at MPW for her school-night raving. Dominates the warehouse scene when she decides to grace London with her presence. Although small in stature, she’ll have a seismic impact on any Shoreditch gaff. Sweet, charming and gorgeous.

Blaise Patrick 20s
Norfolk kid and art-world mover and shaker Blaise gets on with everyone. Always lunches at Quo Vadis and nights are finished off at Nam Long (he lives next door). A heartbreaker who’s best friends with Johnny Borrell.

The Hon Will Pelham teens
Paintbrush-wielding Eton rogue who sent shockwaves through Sloanedom when he dyed his hair blue. Has a T-shirt that proclaims: ‘I only listen to unsigned bands.’ Aptly nicknamed ‘Crème’ because he is so edible. Hilarious.

Guy Pelly 20s
Guy Ritchie’s best friend and the man behind Whisky Mist, Mahiki and the Punch Bowl. Proving himself as a mover ’n’ shaker on the London night scene. A mini-Branson in the making? Not afraid to take all his clothes off – check out the mole tattoo on his arse. It was meant to be his chat-up line.

Sabrina Percy teens
Can often be found chatting and chilling while she’s sitting on a gravestone in Dovehouse Green on the King’s Road. Either that or it’s chilling at Alnwick Castle with her uncle, the Duke of Northumberland. On her gap year, so seek her out in the Abercrombie store where she’s a model. Not that she’d ever tell you.

Olivia Perry 20s
‘Bubble’ by name, bubble by nature, she’s Harry ’n’ Chelsy’s gatekeeper, NBF with Princess Eugenie and working at Black Rock. Busted at work recently for pulling a sickie – she was papped leaving Boujis with Chelsy. Scarily clever but proud to be blonde.

Alex Pettyfer teens
Seriously hot star of teen flick Wild Child who at weekends plays tennis with Amanda Sheppard in Cadogan Gardens. Unlike most girls, she claims not to fancy him. Enquire about the yogurt ads he did as a child actor.

Dan Philipson 30s
Cricketing legend Dan’s the man with the most stamina on the Ifield Road, where he’ll order you a mean takeaway and show you the ultra-cool gold BMX hanging over the fireplace. Friends with everyone. Token word is ‘dollies’ – the term he uses to describe the pack of girls who love him.

Rosamund Pike 20s
Oxford grad turned great Brit actress who can oft be seen cycling around town. Fellow actors say she’s great to work with. Likes camp men and is good at baking.

Dean Piper 20s
Showbiz journo Dean lives in Hampton Court but is a regular on the Raffles-Chloe scene since being discovered by the Delevingnes. Into tennis, swimming and jogging. Not to mention Columbo.

Florence & Augusta von Preussen 20s
‘Bertie’, ‘Flozza’ and ‘Tump’. Yes, we are in the presence of royalty – all gorgeous, all nice. Although they may burn your supper and there’s a high chance that you’ll end up drunk. Fun, fun, fun.

Prince Frederick von Preussen teens
When not at Crazy Larry’s (‘To scare people,’ he says, rather unnervingly), ‘Slick Rick’ has been shaking, not stirring, at Leiths cookery school. Now you can find him making his very own minestrone while working at Tom’s Kitchen. Spot him on the KR wearing garish headgear or being bullied by his sisters.

Oliver Proudlock 20s
Often seen getting stuck into pizza and beer at Pucci Pizza (his favourite word is ‘yeast’ – don’t ask). Artist extraordinaire and a smash with the ladies. Currently growing his hair.

James Rae teens
Son of Brideshead producer Douglas, ‘J-Dawg’ is the Pied Piper of fun. Since he’s far too clever to go to university, he’s wowing the powers-that-be at Quintessentially. Very popular – every gap-year kid in town beats a path to his sitting room on the top floor of the Hobury Street family pad. He’s proud to be the only Chelsea kid not on Facebook – he gets enough dates anyway. His mum will cook you a yummy supper too.

Noelle Reno 20s
Matthew Mellon’s ageless American ex who has no intention of leaving town. Quite the opposite – she’s showing English girls how to do it properly.

Talulah Riley 20s
There’s something in the air about Talulah, an incredibly sweet but punchy actress who’s all set for stardom, although her British fans may be saddened to learn that she’s been whisked off to LA on the arm of a billionaire she met in Whisky Mist. Absolutely lovely.

Alice Rothschild 20s
Plimsoll-wearing, super-clever spy who will never spend more than an hour in a club and has the coolest T-shirt collection in town. Ever-so-slightly naughty but very nice to her nephew and nieces.

The Hon Hannah Rothschild 40s
Supermum (of three) who lives in the Rothschild mansion in Little Venice. Very friendly. You will fall under the spell of her magic smile.

Lady Natasha Rufus Isaacs 20s
English rose who spends her days working at Holy Trinity Brompton and her evenings looking after her nephew, Isaac Hart. This Christian babe’s catchphrase is ‘Oh, my life.’ She has a penchant for army boys in particular, but only if they’re well-behaved.

Iain Russell 20s
Rusty’s also known as the tequila-obsessed ‘Scavenger’ – well, he has a talent for scoring with girls of all ages, often recently single. Doesn’t like being tied down. The life and soul of every party, though he’s never on time and dances like someone who’s lost control of his limbs. Has an adoring fanbase of young males (and females, obviously) who hang on his words. The Master, if you like.

The Hon Edward Sackville 20s
The slickest boy in west Berkshire is, fortunately for us, planning on spending more time in town. Stroke the tattoo of his initials (‘EGRS’, since you ask) on his wrist. Fashion icon of the racing world who just gets better looking with age.

Sam & Max Sangster 20s & teens
The Sangsta-gangsta brothers’ joint bash in Ibiza was one of the most talked-about events of the summer. Both leave a trail of ladies quaking in their wake. Sam’s blonde and always in Boujis, Max has just left Harrow and is, erm...always in Boujis.

Lady Flora Scrymgeour 20s
Sweet Scrym is one wholesome girl who divides her time between the Prince’s Drawing School in Shoreditch and cutting her teeth learning to be an art therapist. Back home in Fife it’s climbing trees or running on the beach in St Andrews. Gets drunk and snogs gays. However, she only goes for sushi-makers

Bert Seymour teens
Springsteen-listening Bert loves acting, vintage Vespas and vinyl and just got his head shaved for a play. This Etonian cutie summers in Mustique.

Conrad Shawcross 30s
Off-the-wall NY-Lon artist who throws some of the great parties in his East End warehouse packed with his sculptures. Also likes fancy dress

Robert Sheffield 20s
David Cameron’s brother-in-law is a sexy dancer with an adventurous dress sense. Notting Hill fixture who tends to hang at the Cock and Bottle. A pretty boy – and one member of the Turf Club not afraid to use moisturiser.

Amanda Sheppard 20s
Elizabeth Hurley loves ‘Bush’, a St Moritz girl who pours sweet chilli sauce over every meal. Inherited the partying streak from her parents – their house parties at Kingston House, where she goes down the stairs Cresta Run-style on a tray, are the stuff of legend. Secretly works very hard.

Annabel Simpson 20s
Posh ’n’ pretty, ‘Simpo’ is known for her height (5ft 11), her horses and for being arrested for disorderly behaviour on Polzeath Beach. At the moment she’s holding down a job at Quintessentially. Write her a song or take her to a gig or down to the stables. Yum.

Archie Soames 20s
Leeds history of art undergrad who loves his dog and older women. And they sure like him too. Très amusant and always has the gossip. Will bang on about his English partridge shoot at any given opportunity. See him out and about with fellow fitties Freddie Hesketh and Nick Palmer. Sexy times and terribly sweet.

Ed Speleers 20s
Blond, Sussex-raised actor who’s a big fan of the Rolling Stones, table football and his mum’s spaghetti bol. Only been in one film – but hey, he’s soooo fit, who cares?

Lady Kitty Spencer Teens
Diana’s niece, this Chelsea-supporting ditzy blonde recently headed out from family pile Althorp to go see her team play at home. Hours later, she ended up not at her team’s Stamford Bridge ground, but at the village in Yorkshire of the same name. Has inherited the legs of her model mother, Victoria Lockwood.

Lord Eddie Spencer
Churchill 30s The Ferrari-driving ‘Beast of Blenheim’ is looking good these days. Clock him doing his daily run around Battersea Park. Get yourself back to his loft apartment (complete with river view), which is stuffed with a decent art collection (he’s got a Hirst). Not averse to the private-jet lifestyle.

India & Tilly Standing 20s & teens
Mini Cooper-driving India always seems to be dressed as a cat and no one is quite sure why. Even India herself, although she mumbles something about nine lives. Tilly’s the ridiculously cool one who’s now at Leeds and always flanked by a posse of handsome boys.

Margo Stilley 20s
Fine American export and a good Southern girl at heart who, believe it or not, likes to take her holidays in communist dictatorships – the most recent being North Korea. Too hip for Chelsea, so you’ll have to dig her out of her Soho lair. Secretly likes fried chicken.

Camilla Stopford Sackville 20s
Christian Louboutin wearing Stoppers is a fashionista and an all-year holidaygoer who hosts great parties with bestie Astrid Harbord. People still talk about the afterparty she gave post-Secret Garden Party at family pile Drayton Hall. Everyone sat in the dark for hours.

Coco Sumner teens
Has inherited her dad Sting’s vocal brilliance – and now her band I Blame Coco is being tipped for great things. Feline, with an air of modesty and a half-shaved head.

The Earl of Sunderland teens
Eddie Churchill’s nephew George can be seen wandering around Seaview on the Isle of Wight with two Harrovian henchmen and a shisha pipe. The female attention comes thick and fast, but perhaps not fast enough, as he’s known for breaking records on the school running track. Naughty.


Rosie Thomson- Glover teens
Fabulously boho, pretty and poetic. Currently spending her days at City & Guilds of London Art School, she’s a bit of a maestro with a paintbrush and makes a mean roast chicken. The afterparties at her ‘art rock’ flat on Royal Hospital Road are already turning into the stuff of legend.

The Hon James Tollemache 20s
Bleedin’ good shot – well, he spends a lot of his time at it. Get yerself down to Sussex for one of his cricket weekends. He has singlehandedly made Bayswater cool. Fancied by many a girl.

The Hons Will & Arthur Vestey 20s
Well over six foot tall and just terrible at sport, the Vestey bros are completely potty about racing and gambling. They have difficulty leaving the Royal Borough unless they’re in the Lexus/BMW and heading to their vast pile, Stowell Park in Gloucestershire. Both are incredible fun.

Sasha Volkova 20s
Amazing-looking Russian nicknamed the Volcano. Nat Rothschild’s best girlfriend. Axl Rose’s ex, with arguably the most perfect pair of legs London has ever seen and the sexiest deep voice.

Prince William & Prince Harry of Wales 20s Hearty ’n’ solid.

Eduardo Wansbrough 20s
Madrid-based half-Spanish sexbomb who says ‘ridiculous’ every other word. Prides himself on his Usher-style dancing when he’s not showing off his flamenco moves around Miami. Eduardo’s successful with the ladies, but not so hot at motor maintenance, as – regrettably – he can’t change a tyre.


Eugenie & Theodora Warre 20s
Eugenie has been out of work for years but always seems to be incredibly busy – at the moment she’s renovating her pretty house. Eats a lot but remains skinny. Theo’s stormed Paris and is now to be found in India (we hear it’s something to do with jewellery designing). Both get blonder and blonder every year.

Jakie Warren 20s
Tom Inskip’s best friend is the heart-throb who lives in the coolest house in Edinburgh and has the initials of all his best friends tattooed on his thigh. You can touch them but he’ll make you buy shares in the racing syndicate he co-owns with Ed Sackville. Good in bed, we hear.

Martha Ward 30s
Alan Bennett-loving stylist extraordinaire who is the first lady of nicknames, which she assigns to everyone. A homebody, whose spiritual home is in the Scottish Borders. Despite that, always seems to be working in Miami. Never far from a plate of food and likes to keep sweets in the glove compartment. Looks fit in wellies.

Susanna Warren 20s
Clean-living, tall, leggy blonde ‘Sooz’ is finally back from New York. She’s a fantastic singer and, when she’s not working down Highclere way for her ma Lady Carolyn, she hosts children’s parties at Mahiki. Obsessed with puppies and Guy Pelly.

Emma Watson teens
Rap-star dancing teen actress of Harry Potter fame who had every 18-year-old Etonian drooling around her at Cartier Polo. Likes lobster, champagne and Chanel. Very pretty and popular.

Alex Webb 20s
‘Webbenator’ gives great dos and is the brains behind music and party outfit Veneer – that is, when he’s not watching favourite film Blades of Glory. Cruises the borough in his silver Range Rover. So sexy – has got the most gorgeous hair.

Jonny Weinberg 20s
Chills out at his phat South Ken mews house with Watson, his cute puggle. Good kisser (ask him about his fake front teeth). In the morning he’ll bring you a cup of his lethal invention, the ‘Wake-Up Call’ – a mix of iced coffee and vodka. Doesn’t care for posh girls.

Gerald Wellesley 20s
Charming Gerry is a cracking shot, cracking good fun and all in all one of the nicest blokes around. Fond of fishing and has an infectious laugh. A good catch. Not ashamed to admit he’s obsessed by The X Factor either.

Oli Wennink 20s
Luvverly, scrumptious OE musician who will serenade you with his band Hoodlums in Camden. Spends most gigs fighting off girls.

Violet & Victoria von Westenholz 20s
A pair of Hertfordshire homegirls who are always squabbling over clothes. Violet seems to have a horde of sleb admirers but prefers Etonians. Victoria goes for Norfolk squires. Both fit.

Jack Whitehall 20s
Quirky, festival-going Old Marlburian comic who’s been a guest presenter on E4’s Big Brother’s Big Mouth and will make you laugh with his gags about terrorists. Happy to share make-up tips with you.

Hugo Wilson 20s
It’s roast chicken time round artist Hugo’s gaff off Parsons Green. Gays love ’im, but fortunately girls do as well. Self-confessed champagne socialist – but one could argue that it’s more to do with the champagne than the socialism.

Lady Marina
Windsor teens Eddy Downpatrick’s li’l sis is the unsung hottie of the House of Windsor – but she’s Catholic, so there’s no chance of her being queen. Awww. She’s also the coolest girl at St Mary’s Ascot. Summers in Cornwall, skis in Verbier. A budding actress – her favourite subject is drama – who loves a good party. Comes as a package with Marina Martyn-Hemphill.

Tyrone Wood 20s
Cheeky chappy Ty’s hilarious and currently the curator at family art gallery Scream. Beer drinker into Arsenal and models. Occasional beer spiller. Sometimes.

Joe Wright 30s
Recently single film director (ex-fiancée is Rosamund Pike) and the man behind Atonement and Pride& Prejudice. He gives great movie chat over a nice dinner.

Cynthia Wu 20s
This über-fabulous babe from Taiwan has big jewels and a big heart. She’s as happy in the pub as she is at the biggest fundraisers in town. Has her own charitable foundation.

Princesses Beatrice & Eugenie of York 20s & teens
Definitely the coolest members of the royal family. These two know how to have fun. Catch Beatrice hanging tough at Goldsmiths. Both of them are often to be found in Boujis. Actually they’re almost at a loose end come Monday when it’s closed. They hold court in the back room surrounded by hordes of their adoring male fans. Tempt ‘Boujenie’ with her fave foods: hot dogs, corn on the cob and donuts.

• Names In the News 2009
• Names In the News 2008
• Names In the News 2007
• Names In The News 2006
• Names In The News 2005